Mostly. I keep thinking about the earliest days, when we were too young to
argue over much more than who drank the last of the milk and returned the
empty carton to the fridge.
Maybe it won't. The longer it doesn't, the more it feels like Jean's and my
honeymoon, our decade in an alternate future that lasted just days at home.
That wasn't this safe, but it was a full life in a new reality. The threat
of being suddenly pulled out of it faded away. Life at home mattered less;
life there, with Nathan, mattered more. We didn't know it would be
temporary. We don't know if this will be. We didn't know how time worked in
relation to where we were, and where we used to be... maybe it's that same
kind of multiversal shift. But then, if it is, who did this? That was all
Rachel, mother askani Rachel.
Maybe. At least then it felt like things would be okay at home. That there
were plenty of really good people taking care of X-Men business. We were
safer, it was easier. But a long time off-world changes your perception, so
the longer we stay here, the more content we'll get. Would you be content?
I don’t think happy is the word. Maybe it’s a sense of purpose. Maybe it’s not even that, but that it’s how I always first and foremost defined not just myself but the world around me, and everyone else in it. Maybe I’m just too weirded out by being happy here. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just always my role to think about these things so everyone else doesn’t have to, just in case.
Oliver and I use all of each other's names all the time, depending on the
moment and whatever name we think of first. Katie prefers not to be called
Jean. Caleb hates it when I call him Alex but I do it anyway.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 01:38 am (UTC)Mostly. I keep thinking about the earliest days, when we were too young to argue over much more than who drank the last of the milk and returned the empty carton to the fridge.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 01:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 01:50 am (UTC)Who, us?
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 01:50 am (UTC)God, we really were.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 01:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 01:56 am (UTC)I do. He was just a kid.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:05 am (UTC)That I didn't know. But then, I didn't have the homesick problem.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:14 am (UTC)Trying to be the perfect leader. The orphan thing. The 'how does one be normal' thing.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:28 am (UTC)Ha! I don't know, I think if I haven't by now I never will.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:42 am (UTC)Me too: I'm finally better at chess than you.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:54 am (UTC)Hahahahaha. If I ever land one... everyone will think I'm a skrull.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 02:58 am (UTC)I've considered that. It feels too complex a world for it, and too generous, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 03:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 03:08 am (UTC)There is that. I'm waiting for one of your brilliant insights, though.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 03:31 am (UTC)That's fine. I'm not exactly having any breakthroughs of my own. Just living my life while waiting for that other shoe to drop.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 03:41 am (UTC)Maybe it won't. The longer it doesn't, the more it feels like Jean's and my honeymoon, our decade in an alternate future that lasted just days at home. That wasn't this safe, but it was a full life in a new reality. The threat of being suddenly pulled out of it faded away. Life at home mattered less; life there, with Nathan, mattered more. We didn't know it would be temporary. We don't know if this will be. We didn't know how time worked in relation to where we were, and where we used to be... maybe it's that same kind of multiversal shift. But then, if it is, who did this? That was all Rachel, mother askani Rachel.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 03:59 am (UTC)Maybe. At least then it felt like things would be okay at home. That there were plenty of really good people taking care of X-Men business. We were safer, it was easier. But a long time off-world changes your perception, so the longer we stay here, the more content we'll get. Would you be content?
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:09 am (UTC)I think everyone else would say something similar. I don’t know why I can’t.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:19 am (UTC)Well, yes. And there were still things to fix in the future. A son to raise, forces to fight. The same cause, really.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:31 am (UTC)I don’t think happy is the word. Maybe it’s a sense of purpose. Maybe it’s not even that, but that it’s how I always first and foremost defined not just myself but the world around me, and everyone else in it. Maybe I’m just too weirded out by being happy here. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just always my role to think about these things so everyone else doesn’t have to, just in case.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:48 am (UTC)God, I haven’t been called a boy scout in years. The things you miss.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 04:56 am (UTC)I hope not! I'll answer to any of those names.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 05:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 05:08 am (UTC)Yes, that's me. It's hard to not call you Hank!
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 05:21 am (UTC)Oliver and I use all of each other's names all the time, depending on the moment and whatever name we think of first. Katie prefers not to be called Jean. Caleb hates it when I call him Alex but I do it anyway.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 05:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-27 05:29 am (UTC)Exactly. He's not getting rid of this bond that easily.