nola_cyclops | (no subject)

(no subject)

Zach
Hey, how are you doing? If you're up for it, do you want to come over for chess and dinner with me and Oliver? We can talk about things, or not talk about them.

Katie
Hi, Katie. I just wanted to see if there's anything you need. I'm here for you, any time.

Oliver
Since I know you're not checking the spreadsheet: I have an overnight tomorrow. I'll miss you, Pietro. Love you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I just annoyed you until you took your shirt off!

I still don't understand our logic in that fight. Aside from its subtext. Everything was so clean you had to take your shirt off? And then you asked me to? It doesn't really hold up on inspection.

Scott, I don't want to scandalize you, but what it boiled down to was that I really just wanted to suck your dick.

To shut me up, or just because you wanted to do it? This is a very important clarification.

10% shutting you up, 90% wanting to.

I really thought it was weighted in the "shutting me up" direction, I'm very pleased now.

Giving head is too much work if I'm not actually into it. If I just wanted you to shut up, it would've been a lazy handjob.

I love you so much.

Because I'm so classy!

Because you're not repressed. Because you keep taking the risk to move us forward. Because you looked at me and knew I was Scott and still wanted to do this.

That's a much more serious and sweet answer. But did you see Pietro and not want to? You can be honest.

Well, I'm a much more serious person. No, I didn't have any kind of visceral reaction about not wanting to do this or not wanting you. I was overwhelmed by calculations, mostly. Whether this was part of the plan, whether you were suddenly a threat, who could be behind it. And I was embarrassed that suddenly Pietro knew so much about me, so many vulnerable things, because I don't share those things easily. And I thought about all the things I should do, like put a stop to this to focus on the mission, and be professional with you, and treat you like Quicksilver if we'd wound up fighting the same villain together, not as the person I loved. And I thought you must be incredibly disappointed, because I know how people see me, see Scott. Especially lately, as functionally a villain of the Avengers, a murderer, and all of the rest.

Most of us have made mistakes and hurt people, Scott. We see and face so much that it'd almost be impossible not to break, do terrible things, either to ourselves or others. I hate that it's true, but it is. I've been there too. I can't speak for how my own transgressions scale out, but your good vastly overwhelms any bad. I could never look at you and not see a good man, even when I was being a jerk and poking at your insecurities.

That means a lot to me. For the most part, I don't care what people think about me. I've had to try my best in an impossible situation, like we all do. But I care very much what you think of me. And I still think your integrity runs deep. You've never not done the right thing in the end, when it really counts.

Sometimes I think the Lensherr-Maximoff family morality dial is slightly askew. But I try to do what seems right. I know you do too, and your right-wrong ratio is vastly in favor of being right. I trust you.

Your family is a mess, but my father is a literal pirate who left my family after he crashed a plane with all of us in it, I was raised in the interim by Mister Sinister, and my primary father figure is arguably the most evil person I've ever met and also my ultimate hero, so who am I to judge a family or an upbringing? I trust you, too.

I would say maybe we shouldn't have children, but we both already have them.

One of mine brought me back from the dead even though I'm a terrible father. My children are better than I am. Thankfully.

You seem to do something for them, though. I don't think Luna would bring me back from the dead, and that's fair.

I try. Sometimes I feel very close to Nathan, despite everything. We're a lot alike, and we both love and hate that about each other. It's extremely complicated, but still not as complicated as it is with Rachel. Do you see Luna?

She doesn't care to see me much these days. Those days. Whatever it is.

I'm sorry. I know how hard that is.

I know she's safe and very loved where she is, and that's what is most important.

You're right. I've clung to that before too.

Yeah, I don't know if this is in the cards for us, Scott.